Punishment of a Wordy Kind
by cuz-CM's-awesome
Summary: Harry and Ron got a week's detention with Snape after he wrongly accused them of pulling a prank that Pevees had actually pulled. Snape decides that rather than make them scrub cauldrons he would try a punishment Headmaster Dumbledore had told him about, involving a muggle dictionary. Apparently it worked wonders for muggle children will it work on the two Gryffindors?
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Own**

 **Please R &R**.

 **So I was cleaning off some of the old junk on my computer and came across this, a story I had written which I had previously had on here and ended up taking it off. I decided to re-edit it and upload it again.**

 **Summary: Harry and Ron got a week's detention with Snape after he wrongly accused them of pulling a prank that Pevees had actually pulled. Snape decides that rather than make them scrub caldrons he would try a punishment Headmaster Dumbledore had told him about, involving a muggle dictionary. Apparently it worked wonders for muggle children will it work on the two Gryffindors?**

 **This is mature content you shouldn't read it if you are offended easily.**

 **Uses strong language.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **...**

A loud echoing BOOM was heard down the corridors.

Harry and Ron who had been headed to the Great Hall after their Potions class turned around in shock.

"Bloody Hell! What was that?" Ron asked

"I dunno" Harry said curiosity getting the better of him as he walked back the way they had come. Ron following closely behind him.

As soon as they were around the corner they both slipped in a gooey green substance and fell on their asses.

They looked around; the whole corridor was covered in the green substance. Portraits all around them were disgusted, they argued, they yelled, one woman had even fainted.

"Uggh...what is this stuff?" Ron groaned, carefully bring his sleeve closer to him to smell the substance, he quickly leaned away making a gagging sound. "That's nasty."

Just then overhead Peeves flew by them yelling "Troll boogies Troll boogies, let's all roll in troll boogies!"

"Oh I hope he's kidding" Harry said as the little menace flew away laughing his head off.

Ron tried to stand up but fell right back down. "How could this get any worse?" he howled angrily.

"POTTER! WEASLEY! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Snape bellowed making his way over to them.

Harry shook his head "That's how" he whispered.

Snape stopped short of them, lest he fall in the slim too.

"Professor it wasn't us it was..." Weasley began but Snape cut him off.

"Silence Weasley!" Snape snapped "I caught you red handed or...should I say green bodied."

"Why would we..." Harry began.

"Enough Potter." Snape yelled " Fifty points from Gryffindor and detention for a week the both of you, my office every night at seven. Don't be late. And clean this mess up!" With that in a twirl of robes Snape walked off.

"Bastard" Ron whispered.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor" was shouted down the hall "for language Mr. Weasley."

Ron and Harry glared daggers down the hall.

"What a bloody mess" Harry muttered.

"Snape's the worst, what happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?'" Ron asked.

"That's Dumbledore's motto not Snape's" Harry said

"Then what's Snape's motto?" Ron asked.

"Kill as you go" Harry said with a slight smile.

Ron gave him a confused look.

"It's a muggle term." Harry said.

"Oh" Ron said "That's a bloody creepy term, what do muggles use it for."

"I think it's a cards reference, like to poker or something. I'm not sure I've never used it myself." Harry explained.

"We better get this place cleaned up before Snape returns to um...do some more killing." Ron said and they both laughed.

...

"Those idiot children!" Snape fumed to Dumbledore as he paced back and forth in the man's office.

"Severus please" Dumbledore said calmly "Are you even sure it was them? It doesn't seem like something Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley would do."

"Don't protect your Gryffindor Golden Boy" Snape said angrily "I know he did it!"

"How?" Dumbledore asked.

"I...I just know" Snape spat.

Dumbldore shook his head.

"But I don't know what to do with them" Snape said sitting down across from Dumbledore with a huff "I've tried every manor of legal punishment that I know and they still can't get it through their thick heads!"

"You know Severus the other day I had a most interesting chat with Ms. Granger." Dumbledore began.

Severus groaned at the mention of the third member of the Golden Trio.

"Here me out Severus" Dumbledore said.

Snape nodded, he was too tired to argue.

"I had asked her how her summer had been and she told me it was very eventful because she got a job working with children at a day camp near her house. Anyway at some point in the conversation she told me that when children were bad at this summer camp one of the instructors would make them sit in a corner and write down definitions of muggle words and well as using them in a sentence. I thought that it was a rather strange thing to do but Ms. Granger assured me that the punishment indeed worked. Ninety percent of the students who had gotten into trouble went to great lengths to stay out of trouble. Maybe you could try that."

Snape thought about it for a few moments, it sounded like a useless thing but Granger had said it worked and Granger was usually right.

"Do you think it would work on a witch or wizard?" Snape asked.

"I'm not sure, it sounds possible. There's only on way to find out." Dumbledore said folding his hands together and looking thoughtfully over at Snape.

"I'll think about it" Snape said standing up.

Dumbledore smiled "Do tell me if it works Severus."

Snape nodded and left.

...

Harry and Ron stumbled to their detention; they had had a really long day especially since they hadn't got much sleep the night before. Whatever was in that green gloop Peeves had exploded had been right nasty to get off the walls. Magic didn't work so they had to scrape it off. Under both their nails the still had green pieces of dried slime. Not to mention everyone had been avoiding them because they couldn't get the stench of the slime off of themselves.

They both very regretfully walked into Snape's office.

Snape looked up at them from behind his desk, scrunched up his nose and glared at them. He stood up, waved his wand quickly and shot a spell at them. They were both stunned wondering what Snape had just done.

"Not that I think you don't deserve it" Snape sneered "But I won't let you two into my office smelling like that."

Ron took a deep breath in through his nostrils and realized that Snape had vanished the smell.

"Sit" Snape demanded as he pointed to two student desks, that had been brought into Snape's office.

They both hurriedly sat down.

Snape handed them both a couple pieces of parchment and a quill each.

"Now" Snape began "I'm going to read you a word, you're going to define it on your parchment and then use it in a sentence. Ready?"

Harry and Ron glanced at each other, wondering if Snape had lost his mind. Snape slammed the dictionary down in front of Harry "I said are you ready?" he stated in a sneer.

"Yes Professor" they both squeaked at the same time.

"Good." Snape said "Crunchy."

Ron and Harry scrambled to write down their definition and sentence.

Snape moved quickly and they would get points taken away if they weren't done by the time Snape moved to the next word.

...

After three hours Snape finally closed the book. He didn't tell Ron or Harry that they were dismissed yet, so they both just sat quietly and waited.

Harry looked down at his parchment. They had gotten to two hundred definitions.

46\. Ingrown – Grown within, grown inward.

I got an ingrown toe nail once.

47\. Pioneer – A person who settles in a region that has not been settled in before.

I've always wondered what it would be like to be a pioneer, exploring a brand new place.

48\. Remove – Take from a place or position; Take away.

It is polite to remove your hat when sitting at the dinner table.

The list went on and on.

145\. Body bag – A large rubber bag fastened with a zipper, used for carrying a dead body.

There was an accident where a motorist died after he got into a car accident; they had to carry him away in a body bag.

Snape finally looked at them "You may go. Be back here tomorrow at the same time."

"Yes Sir" they both answered again. They got up and put their parchment on his desk before they left.

Once they were in the hallway they relaxed.

"Oh Merlin" Ron moaned "That was so much worse that scrubbing caldrons. It was so boring and it felt like my hand was going to fall off, not to mention it was hard to come up with a definition for every word before Snape snapped and took points."

Harry cradled his hand "I think my hand is going to be stuck as a claw for the rest of the night."

"Some of the words I didn't even know, it's like he was trying to give us extra punishment by using a muggle dictionary. I mean what's a tricycle? I don't even know if I spelled it right."

Harry couldn't help it, he laughed. The fact that it was a muggle dictionary was no problem to him if they used a wizarding one he might have had the same problem as Ron. He explained to his friend what a tricycle was as they walked to Gryffindor tower.

As soon as they got to their dorm room they dropped into bed.

"I'm so glad we only have to do this for a week!"Ron whispered to Harry "I never want to get into trouble again."

"Me neither" Harry said before shutting his eyes and falling asleep.

...

"Damn it to hell!" Ron practically screamed when his knuckles painfully cracked as he and Harry walked away from Snape's office on Wednesday night.

Harry winced as pain throbbed through his own hand.

"You want to go to the infirmary first before we go to Gryffindor tower?" Ron asked.

Harry was tempted but then he shook his head "No Madame Promfrey will ask us a million questions before she treats us and I'm sure if she figures out it was Snape's doing she'll tell the headmaster who will have a few choice words with our delightful Professor who in return will probably give us even more detentions! I can't take anymore detentions; I can barely take these ones."

"You're right. Bloody fucking great." Ron grumbled.

"What do you think he does with the papers after we leave?" Harry asked.

Ron glared behind him "I know exactly what he does! When I got to class this morning, you know how we had to go to his office and hand in our potions essays. Well as I walked into his office I saw our parchments lying on his desk, as I put my essay down Snape grabbed the parchments that were right beside my hand and threw them in the trash, and then he smirked up at me. I felt like punching him in that great big nose of his but I didn't think my hand could take it and there is no way I'd willing get another detention."

Harry's blood boiled after three hours of writing Snape would just pick up his and Ron's hard work and throw it in the trash. What a bastard!

"He doesn't even look up anymore when he's reading out definitions, he pays absolutely no attention to us at all, just sits there at his desk calling out words. He doesn't have to do anything but his stupid punishment is actually working, he's gotten his point across. I think that's the worst part."

Ron nodded; he agreed one hundred percent with Harry.

...

Snape sat grinning at his desk, this punishment was actually working. Potter and Weasley were terrified of getting another detention. In his class, they sat quietly and did their work much to the surprise of their friend Granger and just about the rest of the class.

Whenever he would try to get a rise out of them, they would just take it. They wouldn't even glare at him anymore; they would look at their feet and take everything he had to say to them. Even the most insulting crap he could say without being fired.

Oh he would never admit it but he owed Ms. Granger and Dumbledore one hell of a thank you.

...

It was Thursday night; Harry grudgingly walked into Snape's office and sat down in his desk. He was pretty sure his fingers were breaking and really didn't know if he could do it anymore.

Ron got there a second after he did and sat down beside Harry quickly taking out his quill.

Snape didn't even look up or ask them if they were ready, he just quickly shouted out a word.

Harry was two hours into it when he couldn't take it anymore. He stopped and put his quill down as he tried to stretch his fingers, they wouldn't budge and he felt like crying out in pain. The lack of scratching that putting his pen down had caused alerted Snape to the fact Harry had stopped writing.

"Potter" Snape sneered "ten points from Gryffindor get back to work."

Harry glared but Snape wasn't looking at him, he picked up his pen painfully, silently seething.

Then he remembered what Ron had said about how Snape just threw out their papers without looking at them.

Harry got a brilliant idea and had to stop himself from smirking evilly.

102\. Depression – A scary enough place to visit and I have to live there.

In the city of Depression you won't find many people living there.

103\. Drummer – The coolest kind of people on the earth!

If you ever want to be popular you should become a drummer, the ladies love it.

104\. Link – Is the main character in the video game 'Legend of Zelda.'

Link can really bust a move, especially when he is riding hard on his horse.

105\. Axe - a wicked mad smelling man perfume that in small amounts makes girls melt but in large amounts makes them die a thousand horrible deaths.

I lost my best friend to Axe when a man wearing too much of it got into an elevator with us.

Harry was actually having fun now, he had to keep telling himself not to laugh and he wasn't paying as much attention to the pain in his hand anymore.

Soon enough the detention was over so he and Ron were able to leave.

In the hallway, after getting a good distance away from Snape's office Harry burst out laughing.

Ron was startled; he thought Harry had cracked under Snape's punishment.

"Harry are...you okay?" Ron asked

"I'm fine Ron, absolutely fine, actually better than fine...I'm great!" Harry said and began laughing again.

"Maybe I should take you to the infirmary..." Ron said quietly.

Harry finally stopped and looked at Ron; he saw the worry in his best mate's face "Oh Ron" Harry said "I'm fine." He proceeded to tell Ron about what he had done.

Ron had a grin on his face and was trying not to laugh at the mention of the drummer one that he found particularly funny.

"But Harry" he said controlling himself "what if you get in trouble, what if Snape sees it and gives you another detention?"

"You said it yourself Ron, Snape just threw out the parchment, he didn't look at it. I guess we will see tomorrow, besides time passed by so quickly once I started writing those in. If I get caught, well I won't be exceptionally happy but at least I let some tension out tonight. I seriously thought I was going to implode in furry."

Ron shrugged his shoulders "I hope your right and Snape does not look at those parchments."

...

Harry and Ron got to Snape's office a bit before seven on Friday. Snape had acted exactly the same as he had earlier in the week, there was nothing different about him and Harry could see rolls of parchment stuffed in his trash can at the moment.

He knew Snape hadn't looked at them but just dumped them.

Tonight he was feeling particularly rebellious, more so because he and Ron now officially couldn't move their hands from a claw position and the pain-free spells they had been using on their hands had stopped working. He needed to vent out his frustrations much more than he did last night. So unlike the night before where he was using caution as he went about writing his funny definitions, Harry wouldn't hold back tonight.

Snape handed them the parchment and started right away.

After an hour into the punishment Harry got more derogative than ever before as he let out his frustration run freely across the page.

49\. Cigarette – The most blessed item on earth (other than beer and sex.)

I like to light up a cigarette after I've had a hot, sweaty romp in the forbidden forest

50\. Adhesive – Very sticky substance, a lot like cum but not good lube to use for a wank.

My friend accidently picked up a tube of adhesive thinking it was lube, his hand became glued to his cock (OW.)

51\. Bedsprings – The things under your mattress that are only there to make your bed creak so your parents know if you are having sex or not.

If Snape and I had sex the bedsprings would creak so loudly the whole castle would hear.

Once Harry had written number fifty one he looked down in confusion, had he just written about Snape buggering him?

Harry had known he was gay since like fourth year but to have sex with Snape. Okay so he thought the man was dead sexy in a very tall, dark and handsome sort of way but that was beside the point. Snape was an ass, that's what he decided his reason was for writing that. He was mad at Snape; he wanted him to pay for screwing up his hand so he was taking it out by writing something crazy like that.

Somewhere at the back of Harry's mind he had another reason. The trill that Snape might actually read this.

52\. Yearning – Something someone wants so badly they would give Gordon Brown head for it.

I'm yearning to have Severus Snape bugger me up against a wall.

By the time Harry was finished with detention he was rock hard and was trying his very hardest not to let it show.

Ron admitted that he had just made proper definitions for his words because he didn't want to risk it.

Harry looked back at the classroom and for the first time that night really regretted what he had written; some of it was really bad.

...

Snape was packing up his papers when he looked at his watch "Crap" Snape muttered, he had a potion brewing in his lab that needed to be stirred in exactly 10 minutes. As he spun around to grab the essays he needed to mark on the weekend he accidently knocked all the papers off his desk. "Damn it" he growled he didn't have time to sort through all of it now.

He waved his wand and picked it all up, shirking it so he could put it in his pocket.

Then he hurried out of his office.

...

 **Author's note: okay so the part where Harry uses the term "kill as you go" it isn't really a cards term. My family and I were playing a card game on the weekend when my aunt took a trick she didn't want and then muttered "Oh well...eat what you kill as they always say." (Which BTW I've never heard before in my life, she said it was something my Grandpa always used to say.) However my mom thought she said "Kill as you go" and was like "Who always says Kill as you go? I've never heard that before." We all had a good laugh. When I was writing this I thought it was something Snape might say.**

 **Also for the definitions, I got most of mine from Urban Dictionary, some of the sentences too.**

 **Well anyways I hope no one thought it was too offensive or anything, I had fun writing it.**

 **If I did offend anyone my apologies.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't Own.**

 **Please R &R **

**Enjoy!**

 **...**

Snape would have slammed the portrait door to his rooms closed if he could have however someone, he believe Dumbledore, had charmed it so he couldn't. Snape had just returned from his lab and found that the potion he had been brewing had been ruined just because he had been half a minute late, that's how precise potion making had to be. Now he would have to start all over again, that would take up his precious weekend time, well at least he didn't have to be supervising a detention, and after the last few days he had a good feeling that he wouldn't have to for a long time.

Snape sat down on one of his armchairs by the fire. He pulled out the tiny buddle of messed up parchments from his pocket and resized them. Now he would have to reorganize them, great. No one knew this about Snape but he did really enjoy his weekends, he liked to get all his weekend marking done on Friday night so he could have the rest of the weekend to himself.

He began shuffling through the papers on his lap when something caught his eyes. On one of the parchments, while he was filing through them, he could have sworn he had seen the words 'big cock.' He went back a few parchments and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

Glade – Plug it in, plug it in.

I would love Severus to plug his big cock into me.

"What in the world?" Snape said out loud.

These were Potter's definitions, he would know that chicken scratch scrawl anywhere, but this was something he was definitely not expecting.

He looked down to the next definition.

Angry – One of the better types of sex

I want Severus to have angry, passionate sex with me.

Snape honestly could not believe what he was reading, was Potter trying to tell him something, it would seem like it but Weasley must have told him that he was throwing the papers away. He had made sure to do it right in front of the youngest Weasley boy just to see the anger light up his eyes but not be able to do anything.

Had Potter somehow found out that he was gay? He couldn't believe that they boy would just give him these things without knowing for sure in Snape fancied the same sex or not. However the boy had done a number of stupid things in his life.

The truth was other than the utter shock of the untold secrets in these words; Severus didn't know what he should do. Potter, though as annoying as he could be sometimes, was a very handsome young man. He was in his seventh year already, almost finished school in fact and his years playing Quidditch had certainly been kind to him.

If Potter wanted a relationship or something with him, Snape wouldn't be averse to giving it a try. They might not get along sometimes but it was his mother who always told him that sometimes fiery personalities that seemed like all they did was oppose each other were the best types for relationships.

Snape skimmed down the list a bit.

Monster – A penis which is enormously large in either length, width or both

I bet Severus has a monster cock.

Snape was shocked to realize that he was getting hard; the image of Harry gasping at the length of his cock and then riding it all night long was just so erotic.

Snape was amused when he realized that at one point at the number 143 on the parchment Potter had totally stopped listening to the words Snape had been giving out and was instead making up his own.

Gaybie – A baby that's parents are both men.

I like to have a Gaybie with Severus; I'd like to have many Gaybies.

'Was that true? Did Harry really want children with him?' Snape asked himself.

Snape read through all of them, the dirty, the strange, the awkward and the arousing. But the one that really got to him was the last one.

Professor - A person who cares enough about abusive and ungrateful teens to work for crappy pay and long hours while hoping someday students mature enough to realize how lucky they are to have someone who gives a shit about them.

I'm glad I have Professor Snape in my life, I'm glad he gives a shit about me to save my life on countless occasions, teach me things no one else can and have more patience with me than I deserve.

Snape's heart did a flip-flop at that confession.

Did he really mean that much to Potter no...Harry?

He needed to take some time and really think this through, he was glad it was the weekend.

Forgetting about the papers he should be marking Snape got up and walked to his liquor cabinet, poured himself a glass of scotch. He swirled his glass then took a sip and let the liquid burn his throat. He took Harry's definitions with him as he sat down at his dining room table formulating a plan of action.

...

Snape sat at his desk and watched as the seventh years students poured into his class, his eyes were drawn to one individual with messy black hair and piercing green eyes.

Harry sat beside Ron but neither of them said a word, it seemed as both of them had learned their lesson; this was going to be harder that he thought but he would make it work.

Snape watched Harry out of the corner of his eye the entire class, waiting for the young man to screw something up but Harry was content to sit and do his work. However it seemed to Snape that he was about to have a very lucky day.

He saw Draco spell dragonfly wings to drop into Harry's caldron and Snape knew exactly what reaction the particular potion they were brewing today would have with that. Nothing that serious but it would cause the potion to bubble over considering whether Harry had brewed it right or not.

Just as he expected Harry's potion started to bubble and you could hear crackling as the inside of the caldron began to burn. "Potter!" Snape said angrily getting up from his desk "Not paying attention again? Detention Potter at seven, now clean that mess up." Snape said as he pointed to the potion that was now dripping down the cauldron and onto the floor.

He saw Harry wince and unconsciously touched his sore hand.

Weasley gave him an apologetic look.

Snape felt bad but Harry would understand in a couple of hours.

...

As Harry walked into his office with his shoulders hunched Snape let out a silent breath, this was it.

Harry sat down at the desk and Snape handed him a piece of parchment. "Ready Potter?" he sneered.

Harry nodded slowly.

Snape walked over to his desk and sat down "Reproachful" Snape began.

What Harry didn't know was that the parchment he was writing on had a twin that was sitting in front of Snape at the moment, allowing Snape to see exactly what Harry was writing. Soon the words appeared:

Reproachful – Not wanting to do something, being reproachful of it

I'm reproachful about writing more definitions because my hand is in agony.

It took Harry a while to get into it; finally at number 50 Snape got what he wanted.

Cider – A substance that will make your penis grow.

And then very hesitantly

Severus doesn't need any cider because his penis is already big enough for me.

Snape really let Harry get into it until he was in his own trance not even paying attention to what Snape was saying while he wrote out his own definitions.

This is what Snape had been waiting for "Cock" he pronounced with a purr.

Harry wasn't paying attention...yet.

Snape waited five minutes "Dildo" he said still in the dead sexy purring voice.

Every five minutes he would say another very sexual word.

On the tenth one after 'Cock' Snape said "Anal."

Snape watched as Harry started to write 'popsicle' but then the writing stopped.

Snape kept his eyes lowered but glazed at Harry through his eyelashes.

Harry was looking at him confused as his mouth mouthed the words 'Anal?' then 'Intercourse' which had been the word Snape had used before Anal.

"Cum" Snape's delicious sexy voice rang out and Potter's mouth dropped because of the way his professor had said it.

Harry started to write 'Come' on his parchment.

Snape however picked up his own quill and wrote on his parchment

No Potter it's spelt cum not come, for example I was happy to ejaculate my cum into Harry Potter's mouth.

This appeared right next to Harry's written Come.

Harry gasped out loud and looked at Snape incredulously.

"Yes Potter I know" Snape said "You want to lick my lollipop and have an angry fuck with me."

Harry blushed the color of Weasley's hair.

Harry got up and went to run out the door but Snape had expected this, the door closed and locked in front of Harry.

"Let me out!" Harry yelled.

"No Potter" Snape said "Because I have a secret for you too."

Harry looked skeptical and nervous all at the same time.

"I want all of that too." Snape whispered.

Harry looked hopeful a moment but then his face changed into a frown "No!" he yelled "You're just trying to get back at me for writing that stuff so you could have a laugh later."

"No Harry I'm not" Snape said coming over to Harry "I'm being more sincere than I ever have in my life."

He grasped Harry's face in his hands and kissed him passionately.


End file.
